I honoured myself today with a tattoo.
For so long I have been afraid of doing things for myself, fearing that I would seem selfish and fearing that I was unworthy of love. I have been overcoming that fear step by step this year. Today as a spontaneous gift to myself I got a tattoo.
This day was full of serendipity for me. Whilst biking to the tattoo shop 7 miles away I got lost.. a lot. There were many times when I thought about just turning back home and giving up. I didn’t need another tattoo and my life is perfectly fine as it is, I was telling myself. But something inside me kept me going and I didn’t turn back.
When I was in the tattoo shop I was only meant to be there for a 15 minute consultation to talk about the design I wanted, I wasn’t there to get it done. Apparently someone had changed there appointment that day so the dude had a free slot, he asked me if I wanted to get it done then and there and I said why not. Another coincidence.
When I was lying on the bed waiting for him to do it I was super nervous. Even though this was my third tattoo I was fearing pain, and my other two hadn’t even hurt! I started laughing at myself in that moment. A quote from The Alchemist kept floating around my head: the fear of suffering is worse than the actual suffering itself. This is so so so true! I had a massive realisation lying there waiting for my tattoo: Why am I (and many others) so afraid of pain and death? Pain we know passes, everything must, and it makes us a stronger person. Death is inevitable so there is no use fearing it. Worrying about these things is only torturing ourselves and wasting vital energy that could be used on LIVING OUR LIVES !
I have to say that realisation, even though it is obvious and I had already heard it from others many times, is mind blowing. To know it deep within your heart can change your perspective on life and the way you live your life. Today I vow that I will be leading a fuller and more vibrant life, getting over my fear of suffering and death.
I had my tattoo and it was completely fine. It didn’t hurt and I am so pleased with it. The final weird coincidental thing that happened was that after I had got my tattoo done the guy asked me if I knew what it meant. I was honest and said no, he explained to me that the symbol represented the journey to enlightenment. That gave me shivers and I felt like I was going to cry. I felt it in my heart because that is exactly where I am at right now. I am on the path. I may not be far along, but I am still on the path. I explained this to him and we agreed that everyone is on a journey to enlightenment but some people just don’t know it I guess. My tattoo is special to me because it represents this stage in my life where I am beginning my journey; discarding my fears; setting out in search of my destiny.
I don’t know what all of this means. The universe lead me today to get a tattoo and to meet some cool people and to fill me with joy. I don’t know why exactly the person cancelled their tattoo appointment and I ended up getting mine done. I don’t know why I accidentally chose a symbol that best represents my life right now.
All I know is that we don’t need the answers and that everything does happen for a reason.
As it says in The Alchemist (now my favourite book ever): everything is written by the same hand.
We all have a beautiful part to play in the universe even if we don’t know it.
So honour yourself for that.
Check out my Resources page for other books that will change your life.
Oh and if anyone is interested I got my tattoo done at Fifth Dimension Tattoos, in London, it is an ALL VEGAN tattoo studio and super cool!