Have you ever heard the expression happiness = expectations – reality
Well I think this is very true.
Today, my boyfriend promised to get me soy milk from the supermarket. He forgot and this led to me feeling disappointed. I had just got back from a super amazing yoga class and I was feeling on top of the world, so this sudden drop of mood just because he forgot to buy me soy milk made me curious.
After sitting with how I was feeling, I realised that I had expectations of him buying me soy milk. I know this is such a minuscule thing compared to all the problems in the world today, but I thought it was a good example. Even the tiniest expectations, when they do not match reality, can lead to disappointment.
This is something we can avoid. In our lives we can drop all our expectations of how things should be and just let them be. That way we can avoid feeling negative emotions when things don’t turn out how we want them too.
It is very hard to always have everything please us. By this I mean that the world is an ever changing and unpredictable environment. We just never know what is happening next. Having expectations attaches us to one possible outcome out of the many and we become fixed to this. If this outcome does not happen then we are left feeling sad.
Living in the present avoids this. If we focus our attention on what is happening now then it is impossible to have expectations. We can only expect things from the future. We are in the present moment and it is already happening, we cannot change it so there is no use expecting anything different. It is what it is.
Something I have been working on is dropping the expectations of myself. I am someone who, if I am not thinking, I can put a lot of pressure on myself to achieve certain things and do things in a certain way. By removing expectations from myself I am free to go about my life naturally and authentically, listening to my intuition and doing what feels right, not what I think I should do.
This applies to all areas of our lives: removing expectations from our yoga practice; relationships; career goals; eating habits; anything you can think of! When we remove expectations we are being real.
So have a go today. After reading this think about an area of your life where you could drop any expectations you have. Imagine what it would look like and how it could result in more happiness for you. Get curious!
In releasing my expectations of how life should be, nothing will change but my perception. In that shift, happiness is found.