I was reminded this morning of a book by Eckhart Tolle called The Power of Now. I had read it a while ago but I hadn’t really thought about it since..
I was sat in my meditation, observing everything that I was feeling. I felt very conflicted. For a while now it has been weighing on my mind whether or not to drop out of uni. I have spent all my energy worrying about this and I really don’t feel present when I am thinking about it.
It came up for me again this morning when I was in meditation. I decided not to think about it, I would merely observe how my body was feeling. This was interesting to do but I realised I felt really awful. My heart (usually the indicator of what is the best thing to do) felt really bad. I don’t know how to describe it but when I know something is the right thing I get this amazing feeling in my heart. Today my heart just hurts.
The rest of my body was feeling ‘off’ as well, and all the emotions that were coming up for me were negative. None of them were very strong, but it was like this dull ache in the background that has been with me for a few weeks. I know that I don’t want to go around my life feeling like this and I am actively trying to be a cause in my life and sort out my situation!
Anyways, this book- The Power of Now– popped into my head. In it Tolle says that the only thing that matters is the Now. The past is an illusion, the future is an illusion. The only thing that is guaranteed is what is happening RIGHT THIS SECOND. IT is in that space that you will find peace and happiness, otherwise you will find yourself constantly conflicted throughout your life.
I thought about this and realised that all my other worries and troubles; the conflict I had been feeling; and the weight on my chest, it all dropped away the moment I really arrived in the present moment.
I knew that nothing else mattered apart from what was going on RIGHT NOW.
And what was actually happening in that moment? It was the sounds of traffic from outside; the feeling of my sitting bones and legs on the floor; my breath moving throughout my body. That was all.
I felt so relieved when I entered the Now. All this unnecessary stress I have been putting on myself dropped away. I have a choice how I feel and I chose not to burden myself with the things that were making me unhappy and weren’t even happening!
Our minds are amazing things but they can also be our downfall. We often don’t realise when they are spinning these elaborate illusions for us and we believe everything they tell us. If they project something about the future- like my mind was doing- then we start to attach our feelings to this ‘projection’ even though it is so not true!
We cannot know the future, and the past has already happened . That is why we must stay in the present moment,
The moment we realise this we will all be free.
Beauty arises in the stillness of your presence