We all have these limiting beliefs, thoughts that spin through our mind and hold us back in life. It is important to realise that these things are not true and we do not have to listen to what they say. If we do not like something that our thoughts are telling us and if those thoughts are not serving us then we can let them go. As simple as that.
What are limiting beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are things that we tell ourselves that ARE NOT TRUE. They hold us back in our life and can keep us stuck in the same place, never progressing forward. These beliefs can be conscious, but very often they are subconscious, we do not know that they are there and that they are holding us back.
Our limiting belief might be a fear we have, such as the fear of failure, or it might be our ego limiting us in our life. Our ego is our sense of ‘I’; our sense of identity and ‘otherness’, our ego likes to be right and make others wrong, which can hold us back in life. “I always have to be right” is a big limiting belief for a lot of people.
Examples of common limiting beliefs:
I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH
I NEVER SUCCEED AT ANYTHING
I AM A FAILURE
We can also have very specific limiting beliefs, for example I AM RUBBISH AT RELATIONSHIPS, or I AM RUBBISH AT SAVING MONEY.
How can we identify our limiting beliefs:
Identifying our limiting beliefs is the key to success, once we have identified them we know not to listen to them and this is when we can really start to move past them.
Get present to your inner dialogue. Start to notice what you tell yourself, especially in difficult situations, what words are constantly spinning through your head and what thoughts arise for you? You can get present to your inner dialogue by taking a step back from your thoughts and watching them. You do this by creating stillness and silence in your life, either by meditating or finding a moment alone, to look at your thoughts. When you do this you can notice what is going through your head and which thoughts are serving you and which are holding you back. This is the best way to notice if you have any limiting beliefs which you are not aware of.
Look specifically at the areas of your life that you are not happy with. If you are not fully satisfied with an area of your life then that means there must be something holding you back from being completely happy, therefore there must be a limiting belief! Ask yourself what is your story? We create webs of stories in our life the whole time, sometimes around the truth and sometimes around a life. Often when we are not happy with our life it is because we have turned our limiting belief into a whole story which we start to live by. If you can identify your story then you have the power to change it!
For example: if you are not happy with your relationship status, if you are single but desperately searching for a partner, there must be some limiting belief holding you back. If you have a closer look then you might realise that your limiting belief and ‘story’ is that you are destined to be single, so each time you do find a potential partner that belief is going to sabotage the whole thing and you will find yourself alone again. The upside is that once you know your limiting belief that is when you can change!
Have a look at your parents/ family/ friends. Compare limiting beliefs. What do you have in common? We easily pick up our limiting beliefs from the people around us, so a great way to identify our limiting beliefs is to use the people in our life as a mirror to see the truth within ourself.
For example: one of my MASSIVE limiting beliefs is that HAPPINESS= EXPECTATIONS – REALITY. This is something both my parents believe and have drilled into me from a young age. The impact of this belief is that I limit myself. I keep my expectations low because I am so scared of feeling disappointed. This is very sad and not how I am going to live my life to its fullest potential. Just because my parents believe something it does not make it true for me.
How to let go of limiting beliefs:
- FIND THE TRUTH:
Look at your limiting belief and be honest, is it actually true? Get curious and get to the reason why you think this. Once you find the truth (that your limiting belief is a lie) then it is a whole lot easier to give it up.
2. COLLECT THE EVIDENCE
Once you have found the truth collect the evidence to support this truth. Look for things in your life, both from the past and present, that support the truth and prove that your limiting belief must be wrong. For example if you think you are boring, look for every situation where you have been super interesting and make a mental note of this, so that the next time your lie arises you can tell if the truth!
A little note here- our mind is VERY good at collecting the evidence for both sides of the argument, if we let it then it will run wild and collect all the evidence to support that fact that YOU ARE BORING and it will turn this into a story and make you believe it. DO NOT LET YOUR MIND DO THIS, stay present so you know when this is happening and be disciplined with your mind so it only collects the GOOD evidence.
3. GIVE UP YOUR LIE
Have a little ceremony to give up your lie- write it on a piece of paper and burn it; have a party; shout it out a window; chant some songs into a bonfire.. WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU.
Replace your lie with the truth and then forget about it!
My absolute favourite, I LOVE affirmations.
Fill yourself with these so that they drown out your limiting beliefs. Tell yourself the opposite until you believe it and can feel it in your bones. Make these into your new way of life.
5. PROVE THE OPPOSITE
Kind of the same as collecting the evidence, but ACTIVELY DO SOMETHING to prove to yourself that your limiting belief is wrong. If you ‘think’ that you are rubbish at saving money, then start saving money and prove to yourself that you can do it. If you ‘think’ that you are awful at speaking publicly, then DO IT and again prove yourself that you can do more than you think.
This is about stepping outside of your comfort zone and realising that you can do the impossible.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE, THE WORD ITSELF SAYS I’M POSSIBLE – AUDREY HEPBURN
6. STAY PRESENT
Stay present so that you can catch your limiting belief if (and when) it returns. The truth of life is that it will return, on bad days this negative voice in our head will creep back in, and we must be present so we can catch it and immediately tell it the truth.
7. LOVE YOURSELF
Because this is the secret.
Once you have done the work and released all of your limiting beliefs this is where the magic begins…
- KEEP AIMING HIGH
- KEEP BELIEVING IN YOUR DREAMS
- QUESTION ANYTHING (OR ANYONE) THAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK
- LET GO OF THE OLD AND CREATE SPACE FOR THE NEW
- DO ALL THE THINGS THAT YOU LOVE, BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND OTHERS, AND KEEP BELIEVING AND TRUSTING IN YOUR INFINITE POTENTIAL.
Books related to this topic:
This is an amazing book. Jen Sincero introduced me to the idea of us having limiting beliefs and it was by reading this book that I really became present to what mine were! This really has became almost a bible of mine and I know it is leading me to success. I would 100% recommend it.
This book by Jen Sincero is specific to manifesting money into your life and will help you release all of those limiting beliefs about money. I have a blog post on money if you are interested and have also done a podcast episode about it. This has been a big topic for me and I have realised that there are SO many beliefs we have about money and making money that totally limit us from manifesting more.
Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power of Now is so so awesome for realising just how important the present moment is. If you want to drastically awaken yourself to life then this is the book. Reading this will help you become present in your life, this is a way that we can become aware of our limiting beliefs, so it is really important.
A New Earth is all about living and creating a better life. I absolutely loved this book when I read it and it really did change my life. After reading this book I became so much more present. It also opened my eyes to my ego- Eckhart Tolle spoke a lot about our egos and how they are getting in the way of our happiness. This makes sense to me and I also find that a lot of my limiting beliefs are coming from my ego. So this book is a way to release them by releasing their source- the ego.
Affirmations are the best way to reverse limiting beliefs. Affirmations are AMAZING and can help you achieve anything in your life. This book is full of them and really empowering.
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