This is my final weekend of yoga teacher training. This is it. The past 7 months have been leading up to this moment in my life, and right now I am swirling with emotions.
I feel sadness: I am sad that my time with these people is over. We have shared some intimate minutes with each other and have helped each other through a lot. This training hasn’t been easy; it has challenged us in so many ways, yet together we made it through. I know I will still see these people and have them in my life, but it won’t be the same as how it is now, so I feel sad to be saying goodbye to that.
I also feel so much gratitude. When we reach the end of a chapter in our lives, this gives us time to reflect on how far we have came, and for me that reflection is always filled with gratitude. Wherever I go and whatever route I take to get there, I am always grateful. I am grateful for the lessons- however painful or hard they were to learn; I am grateful for the people who I met on my journey; and most of all I am grateful for myself for making it this far. I don’t think we acknowledge ourselves enough, we finish one thing and move onto the next, but sometimes it is useful to pause between moments and acknowledge ourselves for everything we are doing. We are all amazing, let’s never forget that.
What else? I am tired. Drained. Exhausted from this past year. I have so much to think about and I feel as though I need some time just to think. I am still processing and everything moves so fast I never get time, or I forget, but right now I am ready for a pause in my life just to think.
I can feel the unknown. This may sound strange, but I am right on the edge at the moment and I can feel myself anticipating what is going to happen next, I don’t know exactly how that is going to look- but I feel ready.
Something that someone said today resonated with me a lot. She said that she was celebrating change. I think this resonated because I have been someone who fears change. I could very easily do the same thing, get stuck in my routine, and because I love it I would never look up- my dad is like this so I know I get it from him, we are routine people and that serves us yet sometimes it doesn’t. Change is good. We must all celebrate change. To change is to grow and however hard this might seem we must embrace it if we want to live our fullest life. I am choosing to celebrate change, the change that is unfolding right now in my life, I am in the middle of something big and I will celebrate it before it has even begun.
I ask you today, wherever you are at in your life, to take a moment to pause. What is going on that you can be grateful for? What are the emotions swirling through you in this very moment? Is there somewhere in your life where you are uncertain and maybe fearful of that? Can you find space to celebrate change?
Asking these questions is important. It helps us wake up. It helps us reflect on our lives and appreciate the good and accept the bad. Questions like these have changed my life.
I am going to stop writing here, I feel as though I could go on forever but those other words can wait for another day. Now I myself must pause- I am going to take a moment to remember everything that I am grateful for and then I am ready to go to sleep with a smile on my face.
Much love to you all