I was flicking back through my journal which I started in December last year, and I realised that I have had a lot of realisations in the past 4 months. Really I am at a rate of a realisation per day, yet I seem to forget these as quickly as I have them…
I have realised that I worry too much, that I need to get out of my head.
I have realised that my problems are minuscule compared to other suffering which is going on in the world.
I have realised that LOVE is important. and HAPPINESS. and PEACE. and JOY. and GRATITUDE.
I have realised that I want (and need) more acceptance in my life.
I have realised that right now in my life I don’t feel 100% fulfilled, and I am working on a way to combat that..
I have realised that it is ok to have negative feelings, it is ok to feel things like disappointment, loss, sadness, frustration- that is all part of life.
I have realised that no amount of money is going to make me happy.
I have realised that I want a lot of things, and all of these things seem to contradict each other.
I have realised that I am ready just to observe these ‘cravings’, to observe these thoughts of wanting- and just to let them pass.
I have realised that all I really want, and have ever wanted, is to be happy, and make those around me happy as well.
I have realised that I care too much what other people think about me.
I have realised that I have a big ego.
I have realised that I am very attached to being an ‘individual’ and I don’t know if I am ready to give that up.
I have also realised that I don’t want to live in an ashram..
and I could go on. I could go on probably forever.
I don’t know what my point is here- I think it is just that we learn a hell of a lot in this lifetime. We learn fucking loads! So we should forgive ourselves when we forget certain lessons which we think we should know by now, it is ok to make mistakes- that is all part of life and part of the learning process…
So do your best and that is all you can ever do.
Much love and peace
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